One thing was alwaz awesome dat just coz of u I did learn to take care of myself.weneva u used to compliment my looks then I wud float on cloud nine n then came the most awaited shot from u, “kaisi lag rahi hun main??” I wud say “I don’t have words for ur beauty,gorgeous n delicate dsnt match d stature”, “kutta tum dekhega humko aage,dekh udhar rahe ho aur bol rahe ho,rakho saale phone tum, hum jaa rahe hain andar” “arre babu na mera, batate hain na,lo dekh liya ab to khush??” “haan bolo ab kaisi lag rahi hun,jaante ho jaanu tabiyat theek nahi lag rahi hai” “apna khayal rakho beta,chalo mere saath agar tumhare babuji tumhara khyaal nahi rakh sakte to” “bhaagta hai tum kutta, aage padhai khatam karo na apna” “arre yaar padhna to puri zindagi hai”..weneva I came to see u standing in ur balcony then u used to say that u r nt feeling well,u were so shrewd.gurls like compliments abt their beauty.u wud announce beforehand dat u r nt well so dat in case I say that u r not looking very beautiful then u got a reason for d backup dat u r nt well and if I say u r alwaz my angel n mind blowing beauty.then u wud reveal dat inspite of nt feeling good n well I look beautiful as its in my genes n birth right to look good n I neednt use any lakmes’ maybellines’. I alwaz told u dat u r never changed.wheneva I saw u be it after months, u were d same I saw first time on 27th july,2007.u wud ask abt ur health n weight issues then I wud say that untill I don’t hug u tightly n kiss u passionately I wont b able to tell coz I m still a kid in scaling gurls thighs n bums n u wud say, “muh dekha hai apna??”..each tym I saw u was like a new shine n sunrise for me making me toxicated wd ur freshie charm n eyes responding to d yawning of ur lips.
U were alwaz more beautiful than d last tym I saw u.i wud never be able to escape wd those expressions of urs while sleeping,smyling,kissing,anger,excitement n loads of other yogas kinda twist n turn of ur face whch is still widot a description n adjectives.d most remarkable among those was d one while standing on ur balcony n staring eyes of urs searching my entrance from all d turns towards ur house, it wud pretend like “very curious” sort of as if wats going on around u and first tym u have been to ur balcony wd raised eyebrows n eyes waiting to shine.d same expression u used to replicate while coming to me on rickshaw,those deep black diamonds used to search me n d moment those diamonds acqired my image it wud be like “ab jee k kya karna” those beautiful worlds of mine were so precious dat I alwaz felt jealous n envy of all those people n stuffs around u.i alwaz burnt inside when ur eyes wud see anythng apart from me n felt to set on fire everythng so dat ur eyes wud be only mine n ur eyes wud only respond to my images..those lucky bastards honoured by ur stares r still nt able to make a good repo wd me.”kaisi tumhari nazarein mere siwa kuch aur dekh sakti hain????” I wish to be ur eyelashes after m dead till all d coming ages.i don’t have any other wish or application to get approved of by god.u gave me everything I cud never dream of but still “kuch reh gaya baaki….” I cud never see anythng apart from ur virtual portrait after closing my eyes.i don’t know hw I will breathe n my hearts will beat in ur absence n I too don’t want them to go ahead in their motion as it seems unworthy seeing sunrise n sunset widot ur presence by my side.i alwaz boasted of nt being a looser till u were thr,till ur tears stopped flowing down ur cheeks for me. U were more than dis life n happiness and mind u I don’t wanna see any morning/sunrise widot ur presence by my side. Its much more than pitch dark here widot u n m walking wd a hope to see a ray of urs n follow that ray to get to d most precious thng mankind cud expect n not deserve.i m scared and scared are my thots of days spend wd u.weneva I came to meet u at ur college n we used to go to malls..movies…restos..walk across half bangalore wd holding ur hands in mine n walking wd a charm n proud to be present by d side of d beauty whch cudnt be defined by shakespeares’ adjectives n phrases.those roads n narrow ways n squares n those steps we wud sit on talking for hours now haunts me and I cudnt compell my thots away from those places of love.i m a coward n wud never b able to visit those places in ur absence widot u.it seems those surroundings r mocking at me n u knw wat dats d only laugh which hurts me. I cudnt face those places widot u n wud never b able to till I breath.in our hometown those narrow passages in old gaya witnessed d “couple” of d town racing away guarded by old n tall buildings.we did made people stare at us n we were alwaz in focus on bike.it was so gutsy from ur part dat widot and scarf or goggs or helmets u enjoyed d ride on bike across my farm house on dusty roads.while going to farm house on dusty roads we used to come across d huts n green fields n farmers n kids playing widot a line of wrinkle on their face, free from worries spending tym wd d mother earth since she gave birth to them till they breath last lying inside the safest part of mother earth. Many a times u wondered,in fact we wondered abt living like villagers in those hut n I wud in morning go to work n by d evening when I wud return u wud hug me n ask me to cook as u love d flavours of my hand.u knw wat, I m ready to do dat till sun shines existing by ur side.last when we were on those dusty roads some marks of my tyres were easily recognizable which r yet waiing to get renewed wd d same tyre grips.but unfortunate those marks n unfortunate me.those ways still wait for u, those streets r getting thinner waiting for ur smiles n those blowing winds across d trees miss ur essence n refuse to respond to d windy evenings.how cud I face those widot u?? for u thr must be millions of streets now whch u visit regularly but I m still roaming in those barren streets whch once used to be greener than d trees, finding sum old marks n proofs of our presence.ur road across ur house now has developed a lot wd well built pavements n shops filled wd much vaieties of stuffs but that “chaiwala” in d corner still asks me d same question he used to while I came to see u standing in ur balcony, “saab jee shaadi kab kar rahe hain??” n he alwaz gets my trademark smile assuring that soon but not so soon. Remember that temple n handpump?? That temple still witnesses hundreds of faces standing next to d idol n begging for more luxury,money,beauty,long life n god does listen to them it seems untill I found another innocent face wd hands shaking d bells melodiously n d guy praying opens his eyes wd a shine to thank lord only to find a full of demands sort of face wd hands in air touching d bells.but d same story whch we human beings have been practising since ages; lie to ourself jus to console our heart that he is listening n celebrate ur success.
BusEkMusafir 