shitting banned by government..

hye folks..yet another piece sarcastically discussing the root problem corruption..enjoy

Now it never feels like shitting anymore.last few days my mouth was full of shits n I wud wonder searching for a corner to shit.not a single corner around me was left to shit n dis was for those corrupt n dishonest politicians.so as to forget them in dat corner itself. The habit of PAAN really helped me a lot in venting out my anger n frustration in form of spit.it really worked for me.now a days we come across so many scams as if its been included in our daily routine to come across atleast one worth thousands of crores.jus coz of dis last few years have been hello lot of tiring for me shitting around,courtesy: bofors. I was accompanied by my colleagues too now a days and d moment I enter inside my office,”manu bhai chale paan khaane?” said lalbabu wd a grin on his face n shine in his eyes whch easily showed dat how impatiently he was waiting for me to accompany him in shitting. Still I cud see d traces of his last trip of paan on d corners of his barfi styled moustaches. Newaz as I said scams r now a daily affair so hardly we speak rather shit all around whole day.
                                                                                            We welcomed a new member in our shitting community,our boss.he too admitted how much relaxed he felt after shit-shitting. But here his case was some other way around.he wished he was involved in any scam n his employees wud shit on him but ours portfolio was not dat highlighted as compared to all other ministries n departments.he still regrets that missed chance post retirement as well.according to him it’s a cult status to be shitted on.
                                           During a get together at a posh hotel I came across my boss.he was thr smiling n showing his ventilators for passing by of air giving relaxation to juice jaws n ya how cud one miss those wrinkles which proved his shitting experience. He instantly caught my attention n wd a grin said,”manu u knw wat? Dat bofors case has resumed n doing d rounds in court these days”, how lucky those are!! But now dis trend of shitting no more effects ppl but when u luk back dis shitting was very offensive n ppl wud feel ashamed n embarrassed.now even our government is thinking to ban dis shitting business.dis was d nly weapon d common mass possessed for venting their anger but now govt. is eyeing on dis too by putting a full stop to dis affair.no surprise if u come across a “DO’S n DON’T’S” fact sheet at every ciggerate n paan shop stating dat those who will not shit r only eligible to enjoy paan n for dat too u will have to produce an affidavit to njoy d flavours of paan.afterall its abt d dignity of bureaucrats.every office now must possess a list wd d names of who all eat paan n shit n it will also contain d names of those who don’t eat paan.to add more watch it following will be observed n mentioned before their name: TRIPS OF PAAN ONE HAD..ON HOW MANY OCCASSIONS THEY SHIT AND ATLAST WHO GETS D MOST COUNTS OF SHITS?? Govt is also working on rationing paan and limiting d uses quota for different flavours n colors.like paan wd red shits wud be less in number n paanwala is supposed to maintain a log of every details as government officials will audit that every evening.
My ex-boss started laughing n d scene I saw must be somehow put to you-tube n I bet it wud be flooded wd likes n shares.while laughing d gap left by two teeths allowed some light to enter his mouth n it seems like a pitch dark passage has been lighten. He said, “u must be missing d freedom u all got during my term in office, no limit n quotas of shitting”. I wished n expected some shits from ur side as well on me but d almighty dint listen to dis prayer of mine.while scrbbling my destiny perhaps d ink was over n I missed a great opportunity to be among d bofors case patrons.newaz nw its only a uncomplete dream.by the way do u know how I got dis chair of boss?? I said sir I knw evrythng how from a clerk like me u scaled the heighs of top chair. We all clerks shitted a lot on government when they promoted u to boss’s chair but look nothing has changed, ppl have becum so shameless dat shitting hardly panics them or even make them regret. Our govt alwaz says dat whoever tries to shit on us, he himself gets those shits back on their face. Wat will happen if one tries to shit at moon??? Sir atleast common mass had dis right to vent their anger by shitting but look now we r not left wd that right also. My boss dis time laughed loudly n said,” do u know wats d difference between me and u?? u cudnt get on d top were I m today. Govt made me ur boss coz thr was an art in which I only mastered and not u guys.” I KNEW ABOUT THE DISPOSAL OF SHITS”. Then plz suggest some way to us plz.my ex again grinned n said m waiting for the “D-JAWS” n then wd dat I will shit. Actually for shitting properly u got to have those two front teeths which I don’t have. When u keep ur two fingers on ur lips n then shit across d gap between the fingers in “LUCKNOWAVI ANDAAZ”  u will feel ur heart soothes wd d immense awesome feeling. It shits n fires like a “WATER STREAM COMING OUT FROM NOZZLE”. Then only our government wakes up as it doesn’t scatter on d way and hit d bulls eye in a certain force hitting on d right spot.and u know wat? I have mastered this art but I never told u that. Now lemme get back wid the replica of those two teeths of front whch r resisting me to practice this art.and after that I will wd full heart n happiness shit all over d place n in due course u get that right by practicing…





                              by: VEER ABHIMANYU

fact of dis world we die to live in..

few days back i, nfact we came across a headline: 5 crore looted n delhi!! the robbers were traced within a week n a large sum too was covered from them.what cud b d reason of their being traced so easily???? for d first time such a huge amount was looted in d capital n all d police used their networks n gave their best shot chasing them n finally screwing them up.they wud have never shown interest in a case if lil amount like a lac or two was looted. i knw ppl wud mock at me saying lac is a small amount?? u mus b kidding!! exactly it is specially when d crime scene in our country is like seeing blue water from andaman islands.dnt rust me??? ah!! enquire from government employees n if u wanna be cent percent sure then get in touch wd some politicians.ask any communist or socialistn they will explain u d penetration of such thngs in todaysphase.ppl have crossed every barrier by turning greedy wd saliva flowing down on their hands whch offcourse wud help them count gandhis\’ paper easily.u can get dis conformation from d financial stalwarts n nationalists as well.in dis materialistic world whch is alwaz eyeing for comercialization n wd a shine in their eyes n arms wide stretched ever ready to grab wateva comes their way.d only disadvantage here is d fear of getting caught jus like delhi robbery.who knows dat our coming generation wud find a case study on dis robbery in their elementary syllabus?? n the questionnaire wud contain questions like: \”WHAT IS D LESSON LEARNT FROM DIS INCIDENT?\” answer wud be:\” WE SHUD NOT GO FOR A LARGE CHUNK RATHER SHUD BE SATISFIED IN SMALL N LITTLE PIES\”


                             this was d root problem wd our politicians.all d scams disclosed in last few months were no less than thousand/lacs crore resulting as d headlines in tabloids across d country n highlighting d core issue of our nation.but no one give a shit to these stuffs in dis world full of selfish n greedy society.wish that dis phase of life comes to a halt ASAP n d politician will then concentrate on scams in smaller units.waiting eagerly for dat morning..till then gudnyt..




                 by: VEER ABHIMANYU

tips to save our economy..

as we know our economy is facing a turmoil these days rather years n i jus tried to sum up issues n policies by UPA whch cud/cudnt push forward our economic growth:

DECISIONS MADE BY UPA:

1) HIKE IN DIESEL PRICES AND RESTRICT THE SUBSIDIZED LPG TO HALF A DOZEN, ACCOUNTING TO A SAVING OF 21,000 CRORES TO ITS EXCHEQUER.

2)GREEN SIGNAL TO 51% FDI IN RETAIL..49% IN AVIATION..74% IN BROADCASTING SERVICES..49% IN POWER TRADING EXCHANGE.

3)RE-INVESTEMENT IN NALCO..OIL..HCL..MSTC.

4)HOLDING TAX SLASHED FROM 20% TO 5%.

5)PM FORMS A PANEL TO GIVE A FINAL LOOK TO CASH TRANSFER SYSTEM.

REFORMS IN THE PIPELINE AND DECISIONS YET TO BE MADE: 

1) EXPECT SOME REBATE IN SERVICE TAX IN INSURANCE POLICIES FOR FIRST YEAR.

2)APART FROM NATIONAL PENSION SCHEME, ALL OTHER PENSION SCHEMES MAY BE EXEMPTED FROM INCOME TAX.

3)INVESTEMENT IN INFRASTRUCTURE BY INSURANCE COMPANIES WILL BE NOW MADE EASY.

4)POST RETIREMENT MEDICAL SCHEME IS SUPPOSED TO BE TAX FREE.

STEPS THAT COULD ENCHANCE OR BRING A BOOM TO ECONOMY:  

1) LAND ENCROACHMENT BILL STILL PENDING.

2)STILL NO SERIOUS STEP TAKEN TO CURB THE CORRUPTION.

3)PENDING PENSION FUND REGULATOR ACT SHUD BE GIVEN A GO AHEAD NOW.

4)ALLOW FDI IN INSURANCE SECTOR AS WELL.

5)SLASH SUBSIDY FROM KEROSENE…LPG..DIESEL…PETROL.

6)COMMODITY AND SERVICE TAX SHOULD BE INTRODUCED.

how much these stuffs cud make us march wd d big dadys\’ like china,us,russia, dat tym will only tell but lets make it a point to introduce these if anyone among us presides over anyday our economy…

                        by: VEER ABHIMANYU

aage kaise chalun akele???

jaante ho wen i m at work in plant na then sochta hun ye likhunga wo
likhunga tumhe..kitna miss karta hun aur kitni yaad aati hai tumhari
aur tumhara bachho wali incidents ki..ek pal aisa nahi hai jab aaj
bbhi tumko khud se door kar ke rakha hai..inspite of knowing all d
truth i feel jealous dat hw cum u love somebody?? hw cum u can walk wd
somebody else..kaise tum kisi aur ko papaa kahoge..bahut kuch hain
kehne aur sochne ko..hamari zindagi guzar jayegi aapke baare mein
sochte sochte..tumhari jagah kisi ko nai diya hai apni zindagi mein
aur naa dunga..dukh bus ek baat ka hai ki tumne mera naam alish se
joda hai..hate me or love me or ditch me but plzzz i beg u dnt betray
my feelings…kuch nahi chahiye hume leking uske saath naaam nahi
jodna..apna khayal rakhna aur mann laga ke padhna aur haan dont u ever
close ur eyes n trust ppl…tum abhi tak baccha hai mera..bubu..

lost to myself..

my whole life i have been known as veerhunk but wish for once also in dis
journey of 24 yrs i really lived up to dis sobriquet.i cud never
show/display wat my name means.my words though never lacked d intensity or
d pitch used while promoting myself as someone like \”ACHILLIES\”. cud i make
a lil simple difference to any of those in my vicinity?? i dented though
lives of many which back fired me as a result m still goingcrawling wd d
patch works. its nt m making a cry over that i cudnt fight in world war-2
or cudnt make it to roadies n splittsvilla, its all about \”DARR KE AAGE
JEET HAI\” dat punched my face.my life has been a looser\’s battleground who
according to the dew\’s punch line shud have overcome d scary script to hit
d bull\’s eye.but i cud never comeover dat script n being victorious or
worth applauding  is lost wd d ashes of astronaut kalpana chawla and
atlantis.it neednt be paraphrased or stories told in past perfect form,rather it forbids u from luking in ur own eyes in mirror.i was such a coward that cudnt even face d reality n truth sunrise brought, pretending to b lost in d dark.i have been lying to myself no doubt till i started writing this. even adam had eve to share his staring emotions n eve her compassion in d most isolated phase as described by eli\’s book in d mankind buisness. i dint even had my inner fucking soul to share, leave n dead forget a creature.even my soul cudnt make out wats in my mind?? i have been so much away from d real picture that at times i wud wake up someone out out of dis would. my soul has been a witness to wat all reality check i did.which accounts to zero.i had nothing worth taking sigh of relief as remainder.what a person will ditch me?? my soul  and myself has scripted so fantastically d stage skit that sixth sense dint had any job of interferring.
i kept on loosing myself to everybody.what all i cud have done n here is wat i did?? it was my duty to make people around me stay wd me n trust me but why d hell i let them go??? n never suceeded in making them stay wd me.. coz d creator is bound to or programmed to let u make ur own lessons n realizations. i too had my lil world to boast off n as they say lil r d most delicate and need to keep at safest corner of ur heart.but hav u ever came across an unbreakable glass?? how cum a person who has no thread of hopes n dreams can make sumbody feel, \”I GOT A HANDLE WITH CARE\” specialist

sajni paas bulao na


One thing was alwaz awesome dat just coz of u I did learn to take care of myself.weneva u used to compliment my looks then I wud float on cloud nine n then came the most awaited shot from u, “kaisi lag rahi hun main??” I wud say “I don’t have words for ur beauty,gorgeous n delicate dsnt match d stature”, “kutta tum dekhega humko aage,dekh udhar rahe ho aur bol rahe ho,rakho saale phone tum, hum jaa rahe hain andar”  “arre babu na mera, batate hain na,lo dekh liya ab to khush??”  “haan bolo ab kaisi lag rahi hun,jaante ho jaanu tabiyat theek nahi lag rahi hai” “apna khayal rakho beta,chalo mere saath agar tumhare babuji tumhara khyaal nahi rakh sakte to” “bhaagta hai tum kutta, aage padhai khatam karo na apna” “arre yaar padhna to puri zindagi hai”..weneva I came to see u standing in ur balcony then u used to say that u r nt feeling well,u were so shrewd.gurls like compliments abt their beauty.u wud announce beforehand dat u r nt well so dat in case I say that u r not looking very beautiful then u got a reason for d backup dat u r nt well and if I say u r alwaz my angel n mind blowing beauty.then u wud reveal dat inspite of nt feeling good n well I look beautiful as its in my genes n birth right to look good n I neednt use any lakmes’ maybellines’. I alwaz told u dat u r never changed.wheneva I saw u be it after months, u were d same I saw first time on 27th july,2007.u wud ask abt ur health n weight issues then I wud say that untill I don’t hug u tightly n kiss u passionately I wont b able to tell coz I m still a kid in scaling gurls thighs n bums n u wud say, “muh dekha hai apna??”..each tym I saw u was like a new shine n sunrise for me making me toxicated wd ur freshie charm n eyes responding to d yawning of ur lips.
U were alwaz more beautiful than d last tym I saw u.i wud never be able to escape wd those expressions of urs while sleeping,smyling,kissing,anger,excitement n loads of other yogas kinda twist n turn of ur face whch is still widot a description n adjectives.d most remarkable among those was d one while standing on ur balcony n staring eyes of urs searching my entrance from all d turns towards ur house, it wud pretend like “very curious” sort of as if wats going on around u and first tym u have been to ur balcony wd raised eyebrows n eyes waiting to shine.d same expression u used to replicate while coming to me on rickshaw,those deep black diamonds used to search me n d moment those diamonds acqired my image it wud be like “ab jee k kya karna” those beautiful worlds of mine were so precious dat I alwaz felt jealous n envy of all those people n stuffs around u.i alwaz burnt inside when ur eyes wud see anythng apart from me n felt to set on fire everythng so dat ur eyes wud be only mine n ur eyes wud only respond to my images..those lucky bastards honoured by ur stares r still nt able to make a good repo wd me.”kaisi tumhari nazarein mere siwa kuch aur dekh sakti hain????”  I wish to be ur eyelashes after m dead till all d coming ages.i don’t have any other wish or application to get approved of by god.u gave me everything I cud never dream of but still “kuch reh gaya baaki….” I cud never see anythng apart from ur virtual portrait after closing my eyes.i don’t know hw I will breathe n my hearts will beat in ur absence n I too don’t want them to go ahead in their motion as it seems unworthy seeing sunrise n sunset widot ur presence by my side.i alwaz boasted of nt being a looser till u were thr,till ur tears stopped flowing down ur cheeks for me. U were more than dis life n happiness and mind u I don’t wanna see any morning/sunrise widot ur presence by my side. Its much more than pitch dark here widot u n m walking wd a hope to see a ray of urs n follow that ray to get to d most precious thng mankind cud expect n not deserve.i m scared and scared are my thots of days spend wd u.weneva I came to meet u at ur college n we used to go to malls..movies…restos..walk across half bangalore wd holding ur hands in mine n walking wd a charm n proud to be present by d side of d beauty whch cudnt be defined by shakespeares’ adjectives n phrases.those roads n narrow ways n squares n those steps we wud sit on talking for hours now haunts me and I cudnt compell my thots away from those places of love.i m a coward n wud never b able to visit those places in ur absence widot u.it seems those surroundings r mocking at me n u knw wat dats d only laugh which hurts me. I cudnt face those places widot u n wud never b able to till I breath.in our hometown those narrow passages in old gaya witnessed d “couple” of d town racing away guarded by old n tall buildings.we did made people stare at us n we were alwaz in focus on bike.it was so gutsy from ur part dat widot and scarf or goggs or helmets u enjoyed d ride on bike across my farm house on dusty roads.while going to farm house on dusty roads we used to come across d huts n green fields n farmers n kids playing widot a line of wrinkle on their face, free from worries spending tym wd d mother earth since she gave birth to them till they breath last lying inside the safest part of mother earth. Many a times u wondered,in fact we wondered abt living like villagers in those hut n I wud in morning go to work n by d evening when I wud return u wud hug me n ask me to cook as u love d flavours of my hand.u knw wat, I m ready to do dat till sun shines existing by ur side.last when we were on those dusty roads some marks of my tyres were easily recognizable which r yet waiing to get renewed wd d same tyre grips.but unfortunate those marks n unfortunate me.those ways still wait for u, those streets r getting thinner waiting for ur smiles n those blowing winds across d trees miss ur essence n refuse to respond to d windy evenings.how cud I face those widot u?? for u thr must be millions of streets now whch u visit regularly but I m still roaming in those barren streets whch once used to be greener than d trees, finding sum old marks n proofs of our presence.ur road across ur house now has developed a lot wd well built pavements n shops filled wd much vaieties of stuffs but that “chaiwala” in d corner still asks me d same question he used to while I came to see u standing in ur balcony, “saab jee shaadi kab kar rahe hain??” n he alwaz gets my trademark smile assuring that soon but not so soon. Remember that temple n handpump?? That temple still witnesses hundreds of faces standing next to d idol n begging for more luxury,money,beauty,long life n god does listen to them it seems untill I found another innocent face wd hands shaking d bells melodiously n d guy praying opens his eyes wd a shine to thank lord only to find a full of demands sort of face wd hands in air touching d bells.but d same story whch we human beings have been practising since ages; lie to ourself jus to console our heart that he is listening n celebrate ur success.

its better to die than breathe in ur absence..


One thing was alwaz awesome dat just coz of u I did learn to take care of myself.weneva u used to compliment my looks then I wud float on cloud nine n then came the most awaited shot from u, “kaisi lag rahi hun main??” I wud say “I don’t have words for ur beauty,gorgeous n delicate dsnt match d stature”, “kutta tum dekhega humko aage,dekh udhar rahe ho aur bol rahe ho,rakho saale phone tum, hum jaa rahe hain andar”  “arre babu na mera, batate hain na,lo dekh liya ab to khush??”  “haan bolo ab kaisi lag rahi hun,jaante ho jaanu tabiyat theek nahi lag rahi hai” “apna khayal rakho beta,chalo mere saath agar tumhare babuji tumhara khyaal nahi rakh sakte to” “bhaagta hai tum kutta, aage padhai khatam karo na apna” “arre yaar padhna to puri zindagi hai”..weneva I came to see u standing in ur balcony then u used to say that u r nt feeling well,u were so shrewd.gurls like compliments abt their beauty.u wud announce beforehand dat u r nt well so dat in case I say that u r not looking very beautiful then u got a reason for d backup dat u r nt well and if I say u r alwaz my angel n mind blowing beauty.then u wud reveal dat inspite of nt feeling good n well I look beautiful as its in my genes n birth right to look good n I neednt use any lakmes’ maybellines’. I alwaz told u dat u r never changed.wheneva I saw u be it after months, u were d same I saw first time on 27th july,2007.u wud ask abt ur health n weight issues then I wud say that untill I don’t hug u tightly n kiss u passionately I wont b able to tell coz I m still a kid in scaling gurls thighs n bums n u wud say, “muh dekha hai apna??”..each tym I saw u was like a new shine n sunrise for me making me toxicated wd ur freshie charm n eyes responding to d yawning of ur lips.

U were alwaz more beautiful than d last tym I saw u.i wud never be able to escape wd those expressions of urs while sleeping,smyling,kissing,anger,excitement n loads of other yogas kinda twist n turn of ur face whch is still widot a description n adjectives.d most remarkable among those was d one while standing on ur balcony n staring eyes of urs searching my entrance from all d turns towards ur house, it wud pretend like “very curious” sort of as if wats going on around u and first tym u have been to ur balcony wd raised eyebrows n eyes waiting to shine.d same expression u used to replicate while coming to me on rickshaw,those deep black diamonds used to search me n d moment those diamonds acqired my image it wud be like “ab jee k kya karna” those beautiful worlds of mine were so precious dat I alwaz felt jealous n envy of all those people n stuffs around u.i alwaz burnt inside when ur eyes wud see anythng apart from me n felt to set on fire everythng so dat ur eyes wud be only mine n ur eyes wud only respond to my images..those lucky bastards honoured by ur stares r still nt able to make a good repo wd me.”kaisi tumhari nazarein mere siwa kuch aur dekh sakti hain????”  I wish to be ur eyelashes after m dead till all d coming ages.i don’t have any other wish or application to get approved of by god.u gave me everything I cud never dream of but still “kuch reh gaya baaki….” I cud never see anythng apart from ur virtual portrait after closing my eyes.i don’t know hw I will breathe n my hearts will beat in ur absence n I too don’t want them to go ahead in their motion as it seems unworthy seeing sunrise n sunset widot ur presence by my side.i alwaz boasted of nt being a looser till u were thr,till ur tears stopped flowing down ur cheeks for me. U were more than dis life n happiness and mind u I don’t wanna see any morning/sunrise widot ur presence by my side. Its much more than pitch dark here widot u n m walking wd a hope to see a ray of urs n follow that ray to get to d most precious thng mankind cud expect n not deserve.

saajan maan jao na ki ab to meri saansein bhi mujhse rothne ko hai…

ishq ko dard-e-sir kehne walon suno!!! kuch bhi ho humne ye dard-e-sir le liya,
wo hamari nigaahon se bach k kahan jayenge ab to unke mohalle me ghar le liya…
aayen ban-than ke maiyaat pe meri,kabr dekhi jo meri to kehne lage, \”arre aaj itni
to iski tarakki hui, ek beghar ne accha sa ghar le liye…\”
IDHAR ZINDAGI KA ZANAAJA UTHEGA, UDHAR ZINDAGI UNKI DULHAN BANEGI…

main naa kehta tha..

kal wo sapne mein aayi!!! wo jiske saath maine waqt ko pallon mein badalne ke sapne dekhe..jiske naam maine apni har dhadkan aur har saans kar diya tha, wo aayi thi sapnon mein meri bheegi raat aur palkon ko sukooon pahunchane…aye!! chaand main wo shart jeet gaya tujhse, main naaa kehta tha tujhe teri kaali raaton mein ki ek din  meri raat zarur roshan hogi uski mehek se….main naaa kehta tha \”naa jaane kab se ummedein kuch baaki hai…\”
Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started